the worst DIY task ever

A lot of DIY whiners will tell you that painting is time consuming and stripping furniture sucks but for me, definitively, it’s sanding.

At this very moment I have no less than 4 projects held up by sanding because it is the literal worst.

a. Dust gets everywhere. I do most of my projects in the evening and work in my comfortable, well lit garage. The very same garage now covered in dust. Everything from the canned food to the open dryer with clean clothes is now covered in dust. Mostly though it seems to be directed right into your open nostrils in order to line your throat and lungs in tiny particles.

b. Safety equipment. Do not put me on team safety. I literally work barefoot with saws, drag around furniture by myself on the regular and laugh in the face of an eye mask when sanding ceilings. But when you’re sanding and the dust is flying? I can barely breathe. Still, a mask and glasses are annoying and usually ineffective.

c. Numb arms. While sanding by hand is time consuming, using an electric orbital sander is nature’s way to trying to detach your limbs. Specifically the arms. It shakes so hard that my hands go numb after 20 minutes which is fortunate because I also can’t breathe so I just lie on the carpet and sound like an asthmatic.

d. Spray tan equivalent. When you’re sanding all the focus is on the wood. Are you pressing too hard? Is the sandpaper smooth and useless? Did all that varnish come off the corner? And you don’t realize, until you go inside, that every bit of the reddish or brown stain you’ve just removed from the wood is now coating your skin in a thin layer. And this is how your 1/16th Native American ancestors might have looked like.

Finally, don’t ever, ever sand if you plan to work on a computer, answer a phone or go into public in the following 2 hours. Instead block off plenty of time to shower, scrub your dermis raw and wait for the feeling to return to your digits.

In other words, I still don’t have an update because I’m dreading going back to the garage to finish sanding.

But the sander is mocking me. Laughing. I swear I heard it mutter “soon” when I used the leaf blower to clear out some dust a few days ago.

So I say to you: soon.


One thought on “the worst DIY task ever

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s