Migrating Mushroom Mother….

While the grocery store mushrooms are acceptable, I have a deep and abiding hatred for all fungus growing on my property. While they’ve been restricted to the front yard in the past, recently the fungus has traveled.

I’ve said so before here, here, here and here (incidentally one of my favorite post titles ever, Die Fungus Die).

I hate those mushrooms.

And now they’re invading my backyard! I think the problem was when I moved these walkway stones over and leveled out the dirt last summer:

Yes this is level, makes you wonder how bad the unlevel walkway was before.

I believe that when moving these stones, I used a trowel that had fungus spores on it. Let’s just stop there, shall we? Are there any other words put together that bring up a more disgusting image?

fungus spores.

Nope.

Okay, carrying on. At first I saw little colonies growing in the cracks and crevices. No biggie, scoop ’em out and dump them in the toter.

But them I saw something a little more disturbing.

What do you mean you don’t see it? You only see slightly dead grass? Look closer.

Can you see it now?

For the past few weeks I’ve been finding hidden mushrooms. They’re uglier, denser and like little rotten golf balls of fungus hiding under my grass, just barely out of sight. Usually you have to lift up the grass to see it:

Disgusting right?

Because these little gross golf balls are hard to find I’ve been spending a little time each morning looking under the grass to find these suckers and throw them in the green waste trash toter.

Every morning.

Which is why I was so surprised to look out this morning and find the suckers were reproducing again:

Little crop of disgusting suckers growing overnight? Gross but okay.

This colony finding some wet dirt and shade along my walkway? Understandable and still nasty.

But this? This I cannot handle:

OVERNIGHT people. Yesterday? Nothin’. Today? Infestation.

And it even looks a little like Cloud City poking up from the otherwise perfectly fine grass to create a fungus filled skyline:

Solutions? I’ve got scarce few. Anything that kills the mushrooms would also kill my grass. I dig ’em out but need to find a way to clean off my tools so nasty spores don’t travel. And try as I might the earth will NOT tilt just a little so that corner of my yard gets sunlight and I’m not willing to trim off my roof.

Instead I’ll reduce the backyard watering, keep scouring for fungus and protesting when I have to scoop them out of my otherwise pristine, perfect, decent looking yard.

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