I ran out of ideas for themed days so this is just something I’ve been thinking about.
I really dislike listening to complainers. Not just complainers but whiners too. You know who I’m talking about, people who focus on the situation they’re in and circumstances which are never their fault instead of changing the circumstances.
Now, lest I become a complainer about complainers, here are my four tips to build a bridge and get over it!
1) Identify the problem and where you went wrong. If you trusted someone you shouldn’t have, admit it. If you didn’t notice a car trouble until it became an expensive fix, admit it! This not only puts the situation in perspective and accurately assigns blame but it becomes a learning point so you don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
2) Focus on a solution. Yes, it’s great to vent to our friends but that gets old really quickly, especially if you have a life filled with dra-mah! Look for solutions, ask for help and focus on changing the future instead of wallowing in past mistakes. I’ve found the people who don’t want to hear answers thrive on misery. Who wants to be around someone who doesn’t want to be happy?
3) Check your attitude. No one like a blame shifter and hearing “there’s nothing I can do!” is quite annoying when there are solutions to be tried. If you just need to wallow or are genuinely having a difficult time accepting a rough situation acknowledge it and you’ll be surprised how caring people can become. It is important to note that sometimes nothing can be done right now. In that case identify when and how you can act.
4) Finally, look outside yourself. If you’ve ever been caught dramatizing your cold with a raspy “I’m dyyyyyying” within earshot of a friend of colleague who has recently lost a family member to cancer you know how small our problems truly are in context. Even if you’re experiencing a difficulty that is quite serious, try to recall that physics have proven the sun and starts do not revolve around you and this, like all other times, is simply a season. This too will pass.